… total melt down!!
I tried so hard to paint something which resembled what I was looking at… and could not. It was like I could not control what I was doing, like there were 2 selves, the one brainy one which could see what was to be done, and the other one, who just did what she wanted. I tried to “wrestle” her, but it was like holding a tiger by the tail.
Finally I gave up and sat down crying on the grass.
“Yellows, blues, ochres and cadmiums, all have a mind of their own. They go wild on the canvas… I can’t control them. Details elude me, all hiding in the crevasses of the massive cliffs.
I am in the presence of Nature at its most grandiose, how can I create ugliness??
My frustration, my expectations get in my way, so I pull back. I shed a tear.
I sit on the ground knowing I belong with the Earth.
I am still.
Soon I feel her (the Earth), flowing up my spine.
I find peace and acceptance.
On my art journey, I am where I am and it is OK.”
I then got up and finished the painting. Cecilia, (Bill’s assistant) came and with her wonderful sense of psychology and great art skills, helped me see the value of what had just happened.
Both she and Bill, as it were, loved the piece I had created, as strange and weird as it was to me!!🙂 Go figure!
This is what I was looking at. !